In a recent Dr. Phil Episode he was talking about how to master the art of relating by getting your relationship “black belt.” According to the good doctor, you must CLAIM what you want.
Create a clear vision of what you want
Locate the person you want to do it with
Attract him/her like a magnet
Inspire him/her to want what you want long term
Marry him/her and get busy being happy!
Sound advice…for marketers! Isn’t this what marketers want too? We target a consumer, find out what it’s going to take to make them happy, create the product or service that will do that, and dangle it out there in an attractive way…all in hopes of locking in a long term relationship.
Dr. Phil has all kinds of ideas about how to “bag ‘em, tag ‘em and take ‘em home.” Yet, nowhere in all of his Love Smart wisdom does he suggest that we should have others do the connecting for us. So it is quite interesting that so many marketers opt for this passive, indirect approach~ find the one you want, then hide in the dark and watch from afar while somebody else asks them to respond to a list of prepared questions. Yet apparently, this misconstrued relationship advice has been handed down from generation to generation of marketers until it has become the accepted norm. It’s become common for marketers, even while emphatically proclaiming that “the consumer is my focus, my boss, my reason for being,” to sit back and observe while someone else gets the honor of interacting with their potential mate!
Our version of Love Smart Advice for Marketers is that if your desire is to really get to know someone, then go to the party and really get in there and mingle! Put yourself out there and engage in a real face to face, heart to heart conversation about things that really matter to you and to your potential beloved. Let them tell you their stories and reveal who they really are. Don’t be a wall flower and hang in the corner behind the potted plant – get IN the conversation yourself! You will be amazed at what you can learn and the depth of connections you will find when there’s not a wall between the two of you. Plus, we think you’ll find that it’s way more fun too!
[Don’t get us wrong, we think that online dating, matchmakers and advice from friends can all play a role in getting you primed and ready to dive in with confidence. We’re just saying…don’t book a flight to a Vegas chapel before you’ve looked ‘em in the eye for yourself and had a true conversation!]
